**enter here to win a signed copy of Secrets of the Mommyhood**
This is me trying to decrypt the liner notes from the new Taylor Swift album, RED.
MAPLE LATTES. FOR ETHEL. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
I can't help it, I'm a TSwift apologist. I feel like I can very much own this because I didn't read any of those vampire books. I claim vampire immunity a lot when justifying very common practices (see above, I'd just finished rereading War and Peace). I can champion songs that are straight up US Weekly to music because I was never on any of the vampire teams. So I did this weekend, combing through the lyrics to unriddle Taylor's vague but oh-so telling messages. I can't tell you how much it intrigued me. And made me feel 13. I feel like in 2013 I'll be making heart hands at her concert. Dan says he'll take me. He's my J
oe, Jake, John, Connor, Taylor (aka Jacob) Edward.
For her part, Chloe says she'd rather hear a dog whistle, which totally shocked me. I figured she'd be all ears for songs about puppy love.