Tuesday, July 27, 2010

While You're Single AND When You're Married

A Glamour magazine blogger made a list - 36 Things To Do While You're Still Single.  I love fun lists, and this list is fun. BUT...I don't think it no longer applies if you're coupled...save the parts about dating, of course.

Everyone has their own thoughts on how single people and married people should act, but when it comes to living out lists like this - a list that could just as simply be titled What To Do To Make Yourself Fulfilled  OR How Not To Become Co-Dependent - relationship status shouldn't really be a factor.

Walking down an aisle doesn't mean one never has any downtime without his/her spouse again. Nor should it! Because I got married in my 30's I am sensitive to these types of things, I think. I believe the best relationships are not where 1 + 1 = ONE, but still equals TWO.

Let's take a look at the The List:

1. Go to a movie alone.

Did it. Still do it. 

2. Lift weights. 

One of the things I regret most  is how I TOTALLY stopped exercising regulary after I met Mr W. Now that I have a worthy excuse for buying lingerie, I'd rather wear drawstring pants because admittedly...I've let myself go.

3. Try surfing, water-skiing, or some activity you don't already know how to do. Could be riding a bicycle.

You're never too old, too married, or too single to try something new!

4. Take out the trash, set a mousetrap, do your taxes, build a bookcase.

Done. Done. Done. Does refurbishing count?

5. Live alone, or at least move apartments without the help of family.
A peak in The Bungalow - my 3 room Capitol Hill home

This is a huge one. I've had friends who got married right out of college tell me they really regret never having a space that was truly their own. I believe it's so important to live on your own, even for just 6-months or a year - no roomie, no husband...just you. I'll just state the obvious: Happily ever after is unpredictable, and you need to know if you HAVE to live by yourself you can.

6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon.

7. Go to a scary doctor's appointment by yourself. 

Check. Though my parents did drive all the way up from Tennessee to nurse me through a very minor - but scary-to-me procedure - once.

8. Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else's livelihood).

My friend Monty did this. Then she took off to help kids in Africa. Last time I talked to here she is still holding out for  a job that excites her, all while living the GTL dream. She is my job quitting hero.

9. Fly to a foreign country by yourself

My friend Jenni did. She is so GOOP.

10. Learn to stand up for yourself. 

11. Witness something once-in-a-lifetime, like Jokulsarlon, a lake next to a melting glacier in Iceland.

Living in DC gave me many once-in-a lifetime moments. The burbs? Notsomuch....

12. Revel in being able to watch all the reality TV you want. 

13. Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for Santas, or something similar.

14. Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.

15. Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.

16. Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.

Then, marry him!

 17. Be a good wingwoman. It's not always about you.

18. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows "alone"!

This year on Christmas night,  Mr W and I sat at the bar in my Grandma's house and talked into the a.m. She loved it. We loved it. It's one of many moments with my grandma, who has said good-bye to two husbands, that I will always remember.

19. Volunteer.

20. Do at least one Valentine's Day alone.

Here's an idea...

21. Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.

Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Weddings without a date can be the worst! After enduring one too many bouquet tosses as the lone single girl who wasn't 12,  I opted to save my single friends from this tired tradition; I didn't even toss my own bouquet.

22. Date the creeps. You'll really value the nice guys afterward.

23. Buy yourself some flowers.

24. Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.

25. Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. 

26. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.

27. Finish all your schooling if you can.

28. Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. You may not have time to do this again until you retire and the kids are off to college.

My friend Shannon is doing this. How do you say beautiful in Spanish?

29. Make a list of all your faults.

30. Learn to cook well. 

31. Get some hobbies. Something's gotta keep you occupied—plus it'll make you seem interesting.

32. Let your married friends edit your online dating profile.

I'd argue, instead, let your creative friends edit your profile, no matter their relationship status.

33. Get your finances in order.

34. Babysit someone's baby for an hour.

35. Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up.

photo credit - InStyle.com

36. Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other.

What would you add to this list?


Charlotte said...

oh this is so cute! I love it!!! Love your blog! Im a new follower!

Anonymous said...

Number 5 was huge for me. I moved myself from one apartment to another while in college and then lived by myself my entire senior year. I was 24 back then and I think I really grew up that year and figured out who I was and what I wanted out of life. Another great post! Definitely got my wheels turning!

Anne S said...

I love this!!!! I have never gone to a movie alone. No idea why. Maybe I will tonight.

(number 17 made me laugh... my groom looks so, I don't know, bored? upset? that was supposed to be our "take it all in after the ceremony and before the reception" moment, but that's what happens when photos take 30 minutes longer than anticipated. You were an AMAZING wingwoman!

Kate (Southern-Belle-Simple) said...

the simple fact that you didn't toss your bouquet cements my admiration for you!

Carrie C said...

Love it. I saw this the other day and meant to send it to you...did I? Maybe not. It's awesome and another great list!

Shannon said...

Such a fun post! I don't get to read too many magazines that don't include parenting tips so I really enjoyed this! I haven't ever gone to a restaurant or out to a movie alone. You've done so much, I'm jealous!

Anonymous said...

Nice brief and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you as your information.

Dee Stephens said...

Another old post I clicked on! Love this one!!
WOW! I should steal this idea and do a post myself! Love the getting drunk during the day b/c you can!! haha!! I had not had a roomate since 1998 when I got engaged and move in with Brad last year. WOWZERS!
How did you meet Mr. W? online?

Anonymous said...

So loove this...have done a lot of these things, however, I've missed a few...still single and still time :)


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