Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hello, Dolly!

People from Tennessee love Dolly, our most famous native. Little blond-headed girls from Tennessee who grew up with an affinity for gold lame and got their boobs at an unnatural age, well...they adore her.

As a one-time season pass holder to Dollywood and devoted Dolly fan, I offer you this How To on making the most of your Dolly Parton concert experience...

Because Dolly is, quite simply, a national treasure people, even those not from Tennessee, will line up hours before her show....


Patrick lives Two Doors Down from Beth

 even in the sweltering Virignia sun. 
I work 9 to 5 with these guys

With coolers and blankets in tow, you must be in line very early to ensure a prime viewing spot...


Steven used the down time to whip up a centerpiece for our spread from flowers growing in the Wolf Trap garden...


...because if ever there is a show for which you illegally pull flowers from a national park should go big or go home, it is Dolly!

Kenny Rogers for Islands in the Stream? Clearly!

Kenny Rogers Roasters for your concert picnic?  Please. Only a giant ham will do for Dolly.

You will, obviously, also need biscuits. Dolly's Dixie Fixins, y'all.


So as to ensure that no one picks up someone else's Dolly Partini, drink labels inspired by Dolly song and film characters are also recommend.


While Dolly sings everthing from Jolene to the Hannah Montanna theme song, one must sing along...and maybe even clog a little during Rocky Top. You singing with Dolly while Dolly sings Miley? Truly, the best of both worlds.


Even if you have to be at work very early the next morning...


you must stay til you see Dolly's bus pull away immediately following her encore. Her band will still be on stage playing, but with a police escort, she'll travel into the night. She's just that DHollywood.


Despite the heat and the hard ground, you will have an absolute blast!


And when you read your local paper's review the next day, and they describe Dolly and her performance as "real and gorgeous"...well, you will agree.

Your next move, after making an appointment with your hair dresser to go a bit blonder, will be to plan a trip to, where else......Dollywood.

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5 comments:

PomJob said...

Looks like a great time. Dolly is a true entertainer and actually has the vocal talent to back up all her awards. Loved your picnic spread! You are so creative!

Tricia said...

Dolly at Wolf Trap? I love it! It looks like you all had a great time, even with the heat. I love all the special touches, and the spread of food. Yum! :)

Hines-Sight said...

Love this!! You have the best group of friends. What fun!

Carrie C said...

I wondered if she would play Rocky Top in other venues. When she opened the tour in Knoxville she of course played it and the crowd went nutso. Also- we had allot of fun with her red sparkly costume-it was a clear homage to her best little whouse in texas and a christmas elf. She was worth seeing:)

Dee Stephens said...

This is awesome!! Can you believe I've never been to Dollywood??!!
Also, did Dan go?

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