saying good-bye to chloe diggers

Earlier this year, Dan and I bid the most bittersweet good-bye to our Chlo E. Diggers. 

In 2012, I remember ringing in the new year at home on the couch, so content with a hound in my lap and a husband by my side.  If we're here next year, just the three of us, I'll be happy. I got to revisit that moment 12 months later, but I knew better than to make the same wish this year at midnight.  At 10.5, Chloe had quickly started to show the signs of age. 

Weeks later, a knot behind her left ear that the vet had been watching, hoping medicine would treat, seemed to double in size overnight. It was cancer, and the vet told us she couldn't survive surgery. One Saturday morning in March, after a long night of hacking, resting only if I kept a hand on her chest, Chloe couldn't hold down her breakfast. We took her back to the doctor, but we didn't bring her home. 

Dan became Chloe's dad when she was just weeks old. She saw him through some lonely bachelor years, pooping on the floor in front of girl after girl he had hoped to date until I came along when she was 5. Dan joked to me that Chloe would be the deciding factor in the future of our courtship, that she could count on one paw the people she liked. If I met her approval I could stay around. Quickly I learned her affection could be bought with doggy ice cream. Less than a year later, she would run in circles and howl when Dan would ask her, "Where's your mom?"

She liked me a lot. She loved puppy pops. 

The night Dan got down on one knee to propose to me Chloe was behind him, her short front legs (leg-arms, as we called them) reaching up his back for his shoulders.  Together, they asked if I would stay around forever. It is my most favorite memory of the hundreds I've revisited since we stroked and sang our dog into her last nap.

In the final weeks, when I could no longer pretend Chloe wasn't slipping, my prayer was always Let her know no pain. She was very uncomfortable on that last day, it was clear, but for the most part I believe she hurt very little.  She had stopped asking for belly rubs. She had stopped snuggling with us on the couch.  She had shared all the love and bad breath she had to give, and our hearts are softer and fuller for it. 

As much as true dog people can, we adored our dainty, lazy, soft, smelly, loyal, stubborn, warm, spoiled, speckled, and perfect real girl.  We miss her every day.

live out loud! {ford's warriors in pink}

She was a teacher. She was an Orioles fan. She drove a red convertible. She clipped coupons before it was cool. She made a mean crab soup and a legendary seafood lasagna. 

Her name was Sue and she was a friend, a sister, a wife. She was Dan's mom.  

October is breast cancer awareness month, and if you live in this world, you know that. Pink is everywhere. If you've lost someone you love to breast cancer all this important attention given to the disease can be so bittersweet. Dan was only 20 when his mom died from breast cancer. I hurt for him every time I see a story on the news encouraging mammograms or NFL players wearing pink cleats.  Still, I know that awareness translates into money, and money can fund lifesaving research and prevention. 

This October, Ford Warriors in Pink® has launched its first ever produced documentary, “Bang the Drum: Living Out Loud in the Face of Breast Cancer.” The film honors 11 men and women breast cancer survivors who have demonstrated strength and courage in their battle with its “Models of Courage” program. 2012 marks Ford Motor Company’s 18th year of support for the breast cancer cause. In that time, Ford has dedicated more than $115 million to the breast cancer cause.

I love that there are two men - breast cancer survivors - featured in this video. It's rare that men have breast cancer, but it can happen. Certainly breast cancer makes victims out of the fathers, husbands and sons who lose the women they love to this disease.  

You too can get involved in this tremendously worthy program! When you buy Ford Warriors in Pink apparel at fordcares.com, 100 percent of the net proceeds go directly to support breast cancer awareness all year long. I really like this Circle of Hope scarf!

Soon after Dan's mom died he participated in a breast cancer walk. I've been a volunteer at a center in Washington that provides free mammograms to uninsured women, and we make contributions to breast cancer research. The Warriors in Pink program is a very easy and purposeful way to be part of the movement, and you can shop any time of the year - not just October.  Because if you have fought breast cancer or if you've lost someone you love to the disease you're aware of breast cancer every month, every day. 


To keep connected, be sure to check out Ford Warriors in Pink on Facebook and follow @WarriorsinPink on Twitter.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Ford Warriors in Pink. The opinions and text are all mine. 

new york never gets old

My parents came to Maryland back in August, and while they were in town we hopped a train in Baltimore to spend a couple days in Manhattan...

Waiting on the train at Penn Station

New York was especially "new" to PR and Danny because this was their first trip, so we hit up lots of token sights!

To maximize our time, we rode around on an open-top bus tour. 

We went with Gray Line and bought a package that included 48-hours on the bus,  a boat ride around the harbor (which, save for a close peak at Lady Liberty, was kind of a waste of tourist time) and tickets to the top of the Empire State Building. The Gray Line buses (which are actually red?!) are everywhere around the city and we never had trouble catching a ride. 

On Day 1 we hopped off the bus at Central Park. As you might imagine, these Beatles fans loved Strawberry Fields....

...and this pop culture fan loved seeing a scene from Gossip Girl being shot.

It was fun to watch the action, but there were no big star sightings. A few days later I did see a photo of Blake (nee Lively) Reynolds on that scooter pictured above in People magazine.  We channeled more Gossip Girl while staying at The Palace Hotel...

A slight hotel obsession with The Palace was born when I was in New York last Christmas, and I've been dying to stay there since. Its Midtown location on Madison Avenue is perfect! Our view of St. Patrick's was amazing - the nicest I've ever had staying in a New York hotel. I actually didn't know the hotel had Gossip Girl ties when I booked it...likely 'cause I don't watch Gossip Girl. But still...I love seeing television and movie shoot locations. Which is why one day we lunched here......

Did you know you can make a reservation at Serendipity 3? I didn't either 'til I decided to just call and ask - I guess it was just fate (wink, wink!)? We walked right in for lunch passing a long line of people, and I was so happy the food actually lived up to Serendipity's hype. Another restaurant that really surprised me was the Rock Center Cafe. We popped in there after our appearance on TODAY. 

HA!!!  We went in search of Hoda and Kathlie Lee, but tragically, they weren't in town; all their shows that week had been pre-taped. (Now, those are some gossip girls I would have loved to see!)  Rock Center Cafe has very reasonable (for New York) prices and the food was special without being too big city. It appeared lots of locals were there too for both breakfast and dinner, and we liked it so much we made a return trip!

We hit up Broadway and saw Rock of Ages!  It was fantastic - if you're into 1980's music and off-color jokes (which I am...). It's not a show for kids or prude grown-ups, for sure. 

We saw the 9/11 memorial, walked through old churches and with ice cream cones often in hand, peaked in different neighborhoods while wishing we had more time.  Though we missed having Dan with us, I think it rates as one of my favorite family vacations!

I don't know why New York is called New York, but I think the city is aptly named. No matter how many times I visit, it never gets old. 

In Knoxville with Gavin Rossdale and Garden & Gun

I flew down to Tennessee this weekend for a super quick visit.  There was a wedding.  There was love.  There was food and laughter and there was sleep lost because there was, as always, a time deficit.  For fun, there was even Gavin Rossdale on Gay Street (no Gwen, but Zuma + a nanny; they were getting gelato from here). I love a celebrity sighting.

The current issue of Garden and Gun has a great little feature on Knoxville. It tells of a city that is special but not over-confident.  You read the story and you would never believe it's about a place that, for years, has voted Olive Garden its favorite Italian restaurant.  I felt like a proud native reading that article, but as I dined on Market Square and strolled around downtown this weekend I felt a little like a curious tourist....one who is already anticipating her next return trip. 

When I'm in my 80s...

I hope I still travel 500+ miles to attend birthday parties and help in the prep work...

I hope I bring with me hundreds of homemade angel biscuits, because I've mastered the art of baking them better than anyone else in my family.

In the stress of party planning, when someone jokes, We need a Valium I hope I can counter with, "Did someone say Valium? I have Valium..."

When I get my glasses adjusted, I hope I flirt with the young tech by asking, "Now, I like to wear false eye-lashes, did you leave me room to bat my eyes?"

I hope my teenage grandson acts as my bartender......

When I'm in my 80s, I hope I'm living just like my grandmother.

When the Sun Sets the Moonshines

If my father was on Facebook, this would be his profile picuture....

Without fail, if the man is entertaining, be it in swim trunks and flip flops or a more formal affair, as was this weekend, celebrating my stepmother's birthday...

Big Dave, despite having lived years in Virginia Beach, cannot tame his inner Appalachian, and when the night grows dark, out comes Tennessee's finest - a Mason jar of moonshine.

For those of you who know a little about hootch, you've likely heard of the legendary brewer Popcorn Sutton. Somehow, Daddy still manages to get his hands on some vintage 'shine - only the best for our guests, you know. And though, for most people, it's their first taste of white whiskey, without fail they ask for a second sip.

I'm guilty of embracing this novelty when I have parties sometimes, too. Most people don't keep moonshine in their home bars, but....I suppose it's like growing up with guns. When you've always had it around, it doesn't even phase you. Unless of coures, you sip too much...

In Washington, Tennessee State Society used to host a party called When the Sun Sets the Moon Shines. Locals may have wondered where such a clever name was born. I'm oddly proud to say you can thank my father for that one.

Love, Marriage...and Co-Workers.

I got to see my friend (and former co-worker) Lindsay say I Do on Saturday. She was one of the happiest, most excited brides I've ever seen, kissing her groom even before he was given the charge to lay one on her. It was adorable!

Lindsay's mom compared her daughter's wedding day to her first day of kindergarten. "She was just so ready, like on the first day of school" she said, "she never even looked back." I loved the likeness of those two monumental days.



I, however, spent much of the wedding reception looking back, glory daysing with co-workers, past and present, who'd made the trip from all over the country to be at Lindsay's wedding in Tennessee.

I took my mama as my hot date, since Dan didn't make this trip home with me...

....and she got an ear full as everyone told stories and played catch up. PR loved it, especially all the nice young men who made sure her drink was always full.

Mom told me I was really lucky to have worked/work with people I like so much.

As she often is, PR is right! A few years ago I left the Hill, and was working at a place where I didn't jive with too many people. They all seemed to think the world of each other, and when that happens -when I'm the outsider to a situation - my default defense is to just scoff at it. Very mature, I know. I can remember saying to someone, very As If-ish, The only friends those people have are people from work.

Four of the people in my wedding party were people who were first "just" co-workers to me. Yes, I'm guilty of being one of those people. It's truly no wonder I struggle with weight; I eat more words than anyone I know!

Not everyone gets to spend eight hours of their day with their friends, but for many years, I have. Tons of people wouldn't even want to see their co-workers outside the office, certainly not at their wedding. That wasn't the case for me, and clearly not for Lindsay, either. Here's hoping you are lucky enough to be one of those people, too.

Tennesscenes....

If you no longer live where you were raised, you'll likely know what I mean when I say this about going home....

Sometimes, when you're visiting, you can't wait to get out of there, and back to your new life. Other times, you wonder why you ever took a different path...

It is when you feel the latter that you have the best time, obviously, and feel the warmest about your home. That's how I felt last week down in East Tennessee.

It isn't always that way. I'm not proud of it, but sometimes, I get above my raisin' when I roll into my hometown. I see everything through the eyes of a Washingtonian, and become someone who thinks she's a little more cosmopolitain than those who've never lived in a bigger, faster place.   I know I'm not the only person whose homecoming has left them feeling a little puffed-up, but I'm just 'fessing up to it.

I should also confess that I didn't truly love and certainly never fully appreciated where I grew up 'til I left it. Now, I often fall short of the words to describe what it is I actually even miss, which at times is everything and sometimes nothing but the people I love who are there still.

I can't even really put into words what it is that makes it so much different from or more special than living in D.C. or Maryland, where for ten years I've lived, but when asked, still say I'm from Tennessee.

It's been hard for me to bridge the gap from where I'm from, to where I choose to live now.

I was shopping last week in Knoxville and heard a sweet little lady twanging so hard, I swear, I couldn't make out what she was saying. Such a scene is not unlike when I'm shopping around Washington and someone is speaking a different language, only last week, in Tennessee,  I felt a tad like the foreigner, and that made me a little sad.

Home is where your heart is, so it's said, but most of my nearest and dearest are still in Tennessee...

I have more friends than I can count between Northern Virgnia and Pennsylvania, but my oldest (and even some of my newest) friends are all down South.

I've learned to love blue crab, and even Old Bay, but nothing tasted better to me than the Grainger County tomato sandwiches I ate last week....

sitting on my mom's back porch.

I may never live down South again, and sometimes I wonder if I did live there, would I love it as much as I do now because I don't live there?

I celebrate the South for all its cliched fame (Football! Sweet Tea! BBQ! Y'all!) but there are bad things about it that can't be ignored. As a native I will defend the region like a daughter should, though I am as guilty as many for having empty pride for just being born Southern.

Until I live there again and certainly if I never move back, I'm sure I'll keep romanticing Dixie like some ex-boyfriend who really is better as a memory. Still, I know what keeps a little bit of my heart there really is bigger than a bumper sticker. I know it takes more than simple geography to make a place special, which is what I keep reminding myself as I slip back into the life I have here...just below the Mason-Dixon...while missing, still, a life lived at a Southern pace. 

Pimento Cheese Withdrawal - Our Charleston Trip

Two weeks after our trip to Charleston, I'm still suffering a bit of pimento cheese withdrawal. Since my when-not-on-vacation diet prevents eating it, I shall blog about it.......

Over the Memorial Day week, Dan and I flew to South Carolina.

"Lowenstein, Lowenstein"*

My parents, who'd driven down from Knoxville...

photo credit: Leanne Trodeau Photography

...scooped us up at the airport and we rode off into the sunset.

photo credit: LeAnne Trudeau Photography

This trip proved to be one for the record books as:

1. PR + I avoided our infamous mother/daughter love spats

photo credit: Leanne Trudeau Photography

2. The weather was perfect, every day

3. I became one of those bitches that actually loses weight on vacation

 

Maybe it was all the morning strolls around the Battery, shuffling magnolia leaves underfoot, dreaming about living the highlife in the Low Country.....

...that countered the calories from my daily pimento cheese intake. Though back on my diet** hardcore now, I am still very much nursing a PC hangover that, quite simply, will not be cured til I eat it again...on crackers, atop a filet, or as I love it most, on plain, white bread.

Now....because I'm not one of those Bs that is pretty with fatface, I'll just be candid: the South will rise again before you see most pictures of me from this trip, save those shot by professional photographer, Leanne Trudeau.

photo credit: Leanne Trudeau

Because without the tricks and skills of a trained professional, despite grand progress from my diet (and having trained Dan, when posing for side shots to "belt me" in an effort to create a waist; see above)  I still photograph like an old Civil War canon these days....

Inside Fort Sumpter

....short and round.

So, it's all-tourist-pics, all-the-time for this recap:

Save one daytrip to Fort Sumpter, and one afternoon shopping on King, then carriage riding South of Broad, we spent our days reading on Folly Beach, then breaking for lunch at Taco Boy.

At night, we'd head downtown for drinks + dinner.

Dan and I went to HUSK, voted Southern Living's best new reastaurant. I LOVE the HUSK concept: farm-to-table and NOTHING served, down to the salt + olive oil, comes from above the Mason-Dixon Line. Magnolias, however, remains my favorite place to eat in Charleston, and we dined there twice! A new place opened up on Queen Street called Petticoats - it's adorable, casual and the food (especially the pimento cheese!!!) is really good, too.

Charleston is among my favorite cities. Its Southern coastal vibe is unmatched. Now that Southwest has a direct from Baltimore, I hope we can get down that way more often.

If you're planning a trip to Isle of Palms/Hilton Head/Folly Beach/Kiawah/Charleston anytime soon, I couldn't recommend Leanne more if you want to schedule a beach photo shoot.  She is SO fun to work with, she is so quick to respond to questions via email (before + after the shoot)....she even brought water and towels and all kinds of extras along during our session. Visit her photography site here!


* If you get this reference, we are soul mates
** I'll eventually*** talk more about my diet
*** By "eventually" I mean when I've lost a crazy amount of fatface and can report significant skinny strides